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I once had a family come in with a teenage boy that was out of control, spoiled, with no respect.

How could he not be that way?

The next two stories explained it all to me.

This was a wealthy family. The parents had sent there son to get some money out of the ATM machine with their card. Then they forgot about giving him the card. Three months and twenty five thousand dollars later they asked him about it.

Now, my first thought was I would like to get to the place in life where I did not miss twenty five thousand dollars for three months.

The story continues though. When they came in, they had already bought him a brand new car which he totaled. And then they bought him another brand new car.

After working with them for several sessions, he totaled that car and then they bought him another one. I told them that if that happened again, I would fire myself from the case.

Sure enough, it happened again. And sure enough, I fired myself.

Crippled by one missing word

In my view, I could not participate in a situation that was crippling this boy and the parents were not willing to change it.

The parents were crippling this boy for the real world by leaving out one simple word.

That word is no.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com