I was just reflecting on a topic that is getting more press: Manliness. There is a book on this topic, and the author, a Harvard professor, was interviewed last week in the New York Times Magazine. He makes some observations about what makes a man, manly, and one of them is risk taking. I can see that. But Id like to add three of my own. I think being INSENSITIVE is one of mens greatest gifts. Typically, were brought up to shrug off pain, to not feel sorry for ourselves if we get the wind knocked out of us in football or karate. That ability to not react, especially to our critics and detractors, enables us to run for office, to rise to a highly visible station in life, and to lead others. Certainly, there are some women who share this gift; but its opposite, sensitivity, is one of their defining characteristics. A second attribute of manly men is the tendency or the acquired habit of PERSISTENCE. Not giving up, refusing to throw in the towel, even when a cause or a situation is almost certainly hopeless, is something else they do. Perhaps theres a third characteristic of someone whos manly: the belief that fundamentally, his way of being and doing is the right one, at least for him. You can call it RIGIDITY or INFLEXIBILITY. Theres value in not trying to adjust to every current that comes by, to the changing whims of others, to their fleeting perceptions and diverging values. We find inflexibility in resolve, in decisiveness, in those traits that make us seem stoic, at times, and as solid as a rock, at others. Whats interesting to me as I list these characteristics is recognizing the fact that certain politicians manifest them. I disagree with some of their policies, but I can see that theyre persisting nonetheless, theyre insensitive to low ratings in popularity polls, and theyre not going to change their policies under pressure; theyre rigid and inflexible. So, I may disagree with them, but theyre going about their business in a certain way that I can respect. Theyre handling their business like men, and I respect them, at least for that. |
