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I was speaking today at a conference for foster parents, and got into a conversation with a woman who has 9 foster children. I mentioned that she must have a whole lot of energy. She said she just hopes she never gets old.

One the many things that struck me about the conversation was that there is a great deal of difference between getting old and getting older.

Getting old means losing your zest for life . Getting older is going to happen as the years add up. One is inevitable and the other is not.

How to get old

Here are some ways that I have observed in which people can get old:

Hardening of the references - Dont confuse me with anything new or a different way of looking at things.

Seven last words - The seven last words spoken before someone gets old are

Ive always done it this way before.

Less laughter - Ive heard it said that we dont stop laughing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop laughing.

How to get older

Learn from life and its experiences - If you are the exact same person as you were 20 years ago, then I would suggest that you have wasted 20 years.

Laugh - Laugh often: at yourself especially.

Learn from those that have gone before - Others have gotten older before us. It amazes me how so often we do not take advantage of the opportunity to sit at the feet of those older and wiser.

Grow old or grow older - its up to you.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com