'Rumor has it', 'Daily Dish', or 'Did You Hear?' as a headliner may have grabbed readers attention more quickly. How many of us would not jump on a chance to get in on the latest, be it true or false. Whether it is on a local level, the world of politics or fame and fortune, why is it that human nature lives to be in the know? Where does the news and conversation stop and the gossip begin? And what drives people to begin in the first place? Maybe there is some sort of rush attached to the spread, repeating or extending of the truth, like a fix a drug user needs. After a few requests from readers to write about small-town gossip, I decided to check out the logic. Well, honestly I did not find any logic in it, and I am not a psychologist so I cannot understand human behavior but one thing for sure is that small towns are not the only breeding grounds for gossip! Gossip is, "any talk about another that is not coming from a place of love, is without intention of good will, has questionable accuracy and that you would not want the other to hear about." It does not have to be false to be evil; there is a lot of truth that need not be passed around. It is everywhere, like a flu epidemic or computer virus, just waiting to catch and spread! It lurks in small towns, offices, schools, restaurants, streets, post offices, meetings, family gatherings, and homes! If you are a celebrity, it comes on a bigger scale with tabloids, paparazzi, and the Enquirer magazine. There may be no way to escape it or stop it, but we can surely each do our part by doing what is within our control, our tongue! King Solomon quoted, "death and life are in the power of the tongue." Years ago, a woman moved to this community whom would later become my best friend. During the growth of our friendship, someone had nerve enough to say to me, "how can you tolerate that woman, she is so strange." Months later, this same person tried rescinding that comment with, 'she is a very talented, good-spirited person'. I have been forever grateful that I chose to be unaffected by idle talk and another's opinion! I have since found my soul mate and lifelong friend. I love her from the inside out, and does everyone not deserve that chance to share the greatness of his or her soul. Judgment is NOT our call! Each time gossip is passed on; it is filtered through our perception. Perception is a combination of our values, beliefs, experiences, knowledge, etc. Everyone is different so our perceptions are also different. My attempt to figure out the nature of gossip failed. Reasons could be anything from insecurity, jealousy, revenge, lack of self worth, lack of love for others concern for outside acceptance, to a need to feel superior by pointing out others faults or shortcomings. I think of rumors and gossip as wounds that cause one's soul to bleed until you die inside. Would any one of us not want to save a life of someone we came upon who was bleeding to death? As usual, I came upon an interesting quote that summed it all up quite well, 'folks with developed minds talk about ideas, people with average minds talk about events, and people with small minds talk about other people." Maybe the reasons don't matter as much as the cure. The cure is in our hands, simply a personal choice. Do we want that choice to include destroying, alienating, or wounding another human being? The cure could include turning some of that negative energy into self-reflection, to learn how to love self. Change is work; it is an option, it is a choice, and something only we do to self. If we truly love ourselves, we would never hurt another. There is no way some one can verbally abuse, belittle, exploit, or lie to others without harming oneself. We are capable of so much more and dishonor that potential when we don't live with integrity. I believe that we owe it to God, to each other, our community, and ourselves, to build each other up with life-giving words. Maybe next time we find ourselves in the presence of some Jive Talkin', we can practice, one chance at a time, to speak only good. After all, what comes out of our mouths is a reflection of what is in our hearts. |
